Working On Me

Not changing with the wind,…  Or not even the wind, a slight hint of a breeze,…  Trying to learn to be steady, consistent, balanced.  The root of inconsistency - I don't have a clue.  But then again maybe I do.  It is not being satisfied.  Satisfied where I am.  Satisfied with what I have.  Satisfied with the what if's and the what if nots.  How pathetic is that?  Maybe not pathetic.  Maybe just human, ordinary flesh and blood.  Adam and Eve weren't satisfied in the Garden, in Paradise where God came and walked and talked with them in the cool of the evening.  They were looking for something more because of the tempter, Satan.  That creepy, crawly serpent who whispers - "maybe this isn't good enough"  "look over there, see that"  "ooh, that is so shiny and pretty.  you need that."  So, this inconsistency and lack of satisfaction is age old.  Since the beginning of time.  It is a root of evil.

Today is a day the Lord has made and He expects me to be glad in it.  To not follow after the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride that lurks within me.  To know that He is God and to fall into His ever-loving, ever-present, never forsaking arms.  He knit me together in my mother's womb.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  He knew me before He created time.  He knew everything about me. And He loves me.  ME!  Not because of anything I have done or can ever do.  He loves me because of Jesus.  My Strong Tower.  My Ever-Present Help in Time of Need.  My Rock.  My Deliverer.  My Redeemer.  My Healer.

I go to God, the Father, in, by, and thru Jesus, His Beloved Son.  In Whom He is well-pleased.  Because Jesus is in me and I am in Him, The Father is well-pleased with me.  I can renew my mind with these things and I can and will be satisfied,...

Consistency and Balance

I'm sitting at work - I know - shouldn't be writing a blog post but I am.  I'm alone in the office and it's hard to be motivated sometimes.  I have so many thoughts circulating through my head and just want to get something written down and hopefully, out of my mental, circular highway!

CONSISTENCY and BALANCE

Consistency:  steadfast adherence to the same principles, course, form, etc.
Balance:  mental steadiness or emotional stability; habit of calm behavior, judgment, etc.

Oh my,...  My life seems so far removed from the definitions of these two very common words.  Most of the time I feel like I live on a roller coaster.  Up, down, turning this way and that way, sometimes sharply and abruptly.  Then climbing that steep hill again back up to the top where the ride begins again.  I want so badly to get off of this ride.  Thrill rides like this are not to my liking any longer.  Maybe in my younger years but not here in my "meant to be" beautiful golden years.  (I turned 50 in May)

Today I am going to take a stand.  A stand for consistency and balance.  I am going to be who I am.  I am going to pursue peace and balance and calm.  I am not going to make abrupt choices and changes.  I am going to slow down and take my time before I make decisions that will effect my life.  Stop making decisions that I have to turn around and try to undo the damage caused by rash moments and turns. 

When I grow up I want to be like my husband.  Mr. Stability.  Mr. I Never Change.  Mr. Balance.  Mr. Turtle.  He is slow and steady.  You never have to question things about him because he remains the same.  He is my hero. 

So, here's to growing up.  I'm only 50, you know.